Apocalypse Now
by ProbablySatan
Summary: Leah's world keeps falling to pieces."After what seems to be three years of falling, she is on her back and sure that she is finally dying. There are tears at the corner of her eyes, because maybe, this is what she's been waiting for all along. It's a good way to die too, because there is a stranger with a voice like honey holding her hand and calling her darlin'." ALL HUMAN
1. Chapter 1

_Apocalypse Now_

1

Everyone on the Rez knows that every Friday Leah prays to the porcelain Gods. And like clockwork, she retches, head bowed, knees bent. It is the closest thing to praying Leah has done for a while.

She leans closer to the toilet, letting a spew of vomit exit her lips. It splashes loudly in the toilet but Leah barely notices. Her head hovers precariously, her hair licking the edges of an abused toilet seat in a sleepy pub on the outskirts of Forks.

The first time Leah had decided to drink until she vomited, Jacob has been there, holding back her hair and telling her that he wouldn't say a word to her mother.

Lead does not remember a thing, but Jacob tells her that that day, all she could do was ask for her father.

"_Tell my dad I need him."_

And Jacob wouldn't dare - _couldn't _dare tell a drunk Leah that her father could not help her. Not now - not ever again.

Leah remembers the fifth or sixth time she'd been drunk. A family barbecue in the summer. It was 9 at night in her backyard and all her aunts and uncles crowded around a great bonfire, talking about Harry and football. The beer had felt warm in her stomach and the fireflies danced like tiny flames in the night air.

Then Emily appeared, not looking Leah in the eye. Leah drowned four more beers without stopping and stormed into the house, searching for her mother.

When she had found her in the laundry room, searching for tablecloths and plastic forks, Leah approached her, slurring over her words and demanding that she tell her why she invited such a fucking _bitch_ \- such a traitor - to _their_ family party.

Her mother slapped her so hard that Leah forgot to be drunk. Sue's eyes were on fire yet were swallowed by moisture all the same.

"Emily is family," Sue turns away, not looking at the deep red mark appearing on Leah's brown skin. "Harry was her father's brother. Her Uncle. You share blood; therefore she is here." Then Sue turns to look Leah in the eye, sighing like all the life has left her body, "and you don't have to be if you keep drinking in my house."

Leah had stared at her as her mother left, a pile of bright green tablecloths in her arms and a frown pulling at the corner of her mouth. Leah remembers staring at the wall that night, wishing she could disappear into the ground.

_Sh__e hates me_, Leah had thought, _My mother hates me._

The only other time that rings clearly in her memory is when she was with Seth- or more accurately-Seth found her slaving away at some vodka in the back of Sam's parent's garage. The rest of the Rez boys had been there earlier, but they had all dispersed due to orders from their girlfriends or mothers.

Leah remained though, her dress with the daisies all bunched up around her thighs and she alone wishing that at least Jacob had staid. At least to keep the jokes running.

And then Seth had come around the corner, took one look at her, and started crying. _What a baby_, Leah had thought, _My poor baby brother._ He had only been fifteen and everything in his life had been ripping at the seams and tiny stitches that he had believe God had sewn well and strong. Because, his father was supposed to still be alive, and his mom wasn't supposed to be feeding Bella's dad dinner, and Leah was supposed to marry Sam, and Emily was supposed to be baking cookies, not having children with his sister's boyfriend.

Seeing Seth crying had sobered her like that slap from her mom. It had been a long time since their dad died, but Seth cannot stomach it all, even after a few years had passed. The kid couldn't very well break up with any of his girlfriends without starting to cry _with_ them.

So she took her baby brother into her sloppy arms, hidden in her ex-boyfriends garage at his baby shower.

Her mom hadn't even made her come to Emily's baby shower; Leah had gone willingly, only to make Sue happy. She had considered bringing Emily old baby clothes that they had picked out years ago, but figured that it would've been in bad taste.

These days, Leah would do anything to make her mom happy- even be Emily's goddamn maid of honor if that's what it'd come down to.

Sue had always been on Emily's side anyway- when they were kids, she had always believe Emily's side of the story, always gave Emily the bigger piece of chocolate, always kissed both her cheeks in the morning (even the scarred side), and bought her sparkly shoes with rhinestones on them.

Seth had told Leah that that was 'cause Sue had felt bad for her, that the marks on Emily's face would never go away, and that since Emily's mom had passed from that accident, Sue would do whatever she could to make Emily feel loved.

Leah did not know that including Emily meant forgetting all about her.

It is evident now. Wherever Emily goes, Leah must leave. Sam had made all that perfectly clear and three years later, it was all so perfectly clear and the wound still fresh.

It hadn't taken long at all for her place to be taken. She was 15 and in love when Emily had come-and the poor girl was only 14 and abused when she began living with them.

Harry would never forgive his brother for turning his niece's skin purple and blue, drunk or not. Sue gave her the spare room and a new life. Leah let her into her group of friends at school-not her boyfriend's pants. That part, Emily had achieved all by herself.

But no matter how many times a 17 year old Leah looked on to Emily's scarred face and content smile, she had never saw it coming. Not even as Emily grinned prettily and told her how Sam was nice and smart and handsome and that Leah was _so so_ lucky. Not even when Emily braided her hair too tight and continued to tell Leah how lucky she was, did she see any of it coming.

Leah got pregnant her junior year. Her father would not look at her for three weeks.

Sam's parents did not invite her to dinner anymore- which was completely infuriating. Leah had not gotten pregnant on her own!

But Sam was loyal. He touched her stomach and told her that she was beautiful everyday. And that after they had their baby, they would get married, and he would go to college, and then when he graduated, she would go too and become a lawyer or something grand and exciting and expensive like that.

They would be just fine.

She and Emily shopped for baby clothes and argued over cute baby names. Leah was 17 and stupid, Emily was 16 and jealous.

That October, she was supposed to be three months pregnant. Instead, she had lost the child and was told she could never have kids again.

She would never forgive Sam for the look of relief that had flashed across on his face. It had only lasted half a second, but she caught it, and it _hurt_.

Her father sat with her in the hospital all day and told her that he was sorry and he had been really excited to be a grandfather. When she told him that he was making her feel like shit, he continued good-naturedly, patting her hands and continuing to speak. He told her that one day he would be, and they would be _her_ children. He told her that Leah was born from the strongest woman in Washington-in the world maybe, and that Leah was just like her; made for moving mountains and causing miracles to fall from the sky and into her waiting palms.

By January, Harry was gone. Heart attack. The doctors couldn't do anything to save him and his chestnut eyes, full of love are steadily fading from Leah's memory.

It was just after graduation that she found them together, under piles of sheets, dirtied by their sin.

Hair the color of night spilled over Emily's bare brown shoulders and covered her scarred face like it was hiding a secret. Her breasts bounced with each movement and her eyes-her eyes Leah's father's-like his brother's, fluttered open to stare at her in surprise.

Leah stared at the nail imprints in Sam's back, focusing on the little green dots of paint on her cousin's nails, instead of at the moving bodies in front of her. Sam hadn't even noticed her and was making more noise than he had ever made with her.

His mouth ravaged Emily's skin as she looked at Leah and Leah looked at her hands.

Emily had never made him stop and Sam had not noticed Leah was there, too far deep into her cousin to notice.

His moaning became louder and Emily closed her eyes on Leah, clutching Sam's hair between her fingers and moving against him, meeting each thrust with a wail of her own. Emily attacked his neck with kisses as their hips met and the groaning rose.

Leah would never forget and she let out a noise that sounded a little like death and her fingernails dug holes into her skin and her fingernails dug _holes_ into her skinand _oh god_ her hands were fucking _bleeding_ and Sam was done and Sam was saying _I love you _Sam was saying _I love you Emily_ and Sam was kissing her mouth and Emily was looking at Leah and Emily was closing her eyes and smiling and saying _I love you I love you so fucking much Sam, more than Leah could, more than anyone in this world Sam_

_I love you Emily_

_I love you Emily_

_I love you_

Leah vomits.

The Forks pub is pretty much as lively as it is ever going to get. She wipes her mouth shakily. The toilet looks like two instead of one. Great. Now she doesn't even know where to aim.

She stands, wobbly even in her busted converse, and staggers back to the bar. At least now, she can drink legally. She's just turned 21 and doesn't know what to do with her life.

But hey! She can go buy a vodka tonic and drink until the bartender stops her.

Except this time, the bartender doesn't stop her. He just keeps passing her more and she's fucking _wasted_. She can barely hold the cup steady in her hands, the world blurs so bad she might not even make it to the bathroom anymore.

In fact when she's halfway there, she's sure she _won't. _The lights are dimming all around her and she is losing her balance. After what seems to be three years of falling, she is on her back and sure that she is finally dying. There are tears at the corner of her eyes, because maybe, this is what she's been waiting for all along. It's a good way to die too, because there is a stranger with a voice like honey holding her shoulders and calling her darlin'.

_Darlin', you'll be just fine._

**Review?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Apocalypse now**

**1**

Leah's eyes crack open just a bit, and she can just make out lights passing overhead, moving fast and shinning bright. They are fluorescent and daunting. Her eyes try to follow the linear path but she dips in and out of consciousness as she does so.

Her head is swimming, and so are the lights.

She can feel herself come to a stop. The voice like honey is asking for someone above her head. The velvety words sound disconnected to Leah, like she listening from under water. "Is my uncle busy? I'd feel more comfortable if he were here."

Another voice replies, but it's nothing like honey, and filled with annoyance masked with fake polite, "Jasper, Dr. Cullen is in surgery right now. Please trust that our staff is skilled and confident, can you do that, honey?"

Honey. Leah tries to concentrate on just that, if only to keep herself grounded. She attempts to crane her eyes open, in order to try and see what he looks like, but quickly gets distracted with whatever the hell is going on with her body.

A tube is shoved down her throat.

She gags and her eyelashes flutter as she struggles to keep her eyes open. She can only catch flashes of gold and fluorescent bright lights before she is left in darkness.

-:- -:- -:-

There is beeping to her right and yelling to her left.

She can hear it all very clearly. Her mother is saying, "I can't do this anymore, I can't do this!" And Charlie is trying to shh her, his words coming out jumbled and awkward like he's never tried to comfort anyone in his life.

Even Seth is yelling. His voice is shaking like the Earth shivers on a bad day. Leah winces. Seth never yells. "Mom do not blame this on her! She's been through _hell._"

Leah tries to block out her mother's reply. Her eyes stare blankly at the ceiling, wondering just who the hell left the lights on in her room and why they are so bright. The florescent is surely burning against her skin, highlighting her, and making her look like some type of experiment. She glances at the clock beside her to read five am and sighs. Even better, it's the beginning of her mother's shift here at the hospital. Now she'll never leave.

Leah sits up slowly, barely noticing the emptiness in her stomach and moves to yank the annoying IV out of her arm.

"I wouldn't do that," A voice speaks up. "It'll hurt and you'll never stop bleeding."

"Yeah?" Leah turns her head, wincing when she starts to see double again. A tall man stands there, hands in his pockets. "And just who the hell are you?"

To be honest, she doesn't ever remember his name because she was out only two minutes later.

-:- -:- -:-

She wakes up three hours later to the sound of the eight o'clock news and Angry Birds.

For the first five minutes, she doesn't even notice that this Angry Birds nonsense is even going on. She gulps down the entire bottle of water resting by her bedside and the two saltine crackers along with it.

First she is angry, because _who the hell plays Angry Birds anymore_, then she is confused because like, who the hell is actually playing Angry Birds in her hospital room at eight am.

She looks up, her eyes squinting, and sees a stranger sitting across from her bed, tapping at an iPad and making faces.

"Flappy Bird too hard for ya?" Leah mumbles dryly, staring at the guy. Everyone knows that Flappy Bird is the shit and the only people who think that it is literal shit are the ones who couldn't get past five points.

"No, I got bored." The stranger doesn't look up, just keeps throwing those goddamn birds.

Leah frowns, "Highest score?"

""Bout a hundred sixty."

"_What_?" She sits up too fast and has to rub her head, "That's insane. I've only gotten to like fifty."

He doesn't respond, apparently extremely engrossed in the game.

Leah looks around, trying to see if this guy is visiting her roommate or something. When she looks at the bed next to her, she realizes that she doesn't even have one.

"Wait." Leah scrutinizes him. "Who the hell are you?"

The guy puts down his device and looks up. She looks him over apprehensively, noticing blonde hair and pale skin. Not the type that usually hangs around her.

"You don't remember?"

"I didn't, like, fuck you in the club or something, did I?" Leah questions. She shrugs at his astonished face. She doesn't have a filter and she doesn't want one either. She likes to think that she is an open book. "Or like, cause any physical or emotional damage that you want to sue me for?"

"No to both," The stranger says, the look of astonishment slowly fading to one of amusement. "I saw you at the bar and brought you here. I was allowed to stay here with you because my uncle's the Chief of Medicine."

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold up." Leah crosses her legs in front of her, the light green hospital gown hiking up her thighs. She looks down, unconcerned. "I passed out at that nasty Forks club, almost died again, and you decided to be my knight in shining armor and bring me here?"

"Again?"

"Nevermind that! Who are you? And why are you still here anyway?"

The stranger stands, looking a little embarrassed. "Excuse my manners." She almost expects him to take off his imaginary hat and do a little bow. "I'm Jasper."

The slight southern accent comes as a surprise to her, but there's something sweet she likes about it.

"Friendly, but not a ghost," Leah grumbles and eyes him, "Hopefully."

Jasper raises an eyebrow, "I think the guy you're looking for is Casper."

Leah blinks at him.

"Casper the friendly ghost. Not Jasper."

"Shit. I totally knew that!" She quiets for a moment and then, "So what are you still here for? Want compensation for saving a damsel in distress?"

"No nothing like that." Jasper's voice and smooth. He sits back down but his iPad is left forgotten, "It just seemed like the right thing to do."

"Stay here or help me?"

"Both."

-:- -:- -:-

"I decided what you need."

"More sleep?

"AA meetings."

Silence.

"Mom...you can't be serious-"

"Dr. Cullen recommended them. They have them here at the hospital."

Leah shakes her head, "I'm not an alcoholic."

Sue stands across from her bed, her arms crossed against her chest. "This is the second time you've had to get your stomach pumped and you're trying to tell me you don't have a problem?"

"I don't have a problem." Leah growls back, watching her mom's face change to one of annoyance.

"Leah, I'm not going to argue with you. Either you go to these meetings or you get out of my house."

Leah feels something bubble in her stomach. Her eyes begin to sting, hot and moist, like acid is being poured into her eyelids. "Mom I can't. I have school and work, I'm busy."

Sue's lips press into a thin line. "You're going to have to make it work. Meetings are every Friday at seven. Be there."

Fridays at seven. Well that definitely cuts into her visits with the porcelain Gods. Leah groans out something unintelligible that makes her mom's glare intensify. She even opens her mouth to begin a lecture, "Leah-"

"Ah." Someone steps in, "Am I interrupting something?"

"Jake!" Leah almost cries from relief. "Absolutely not. You're not interrupting anything." She sends him a look that screams _Get this crazy bitch out of here_ and then smiles.

"Yes, you are," Sue says plainly. "But it's nice that you came, Jacob."

"Sure sure," He smiles easily.

"Mhm," Sue hums, "Please tell Leah that what she's doing is destroying her body. I've seen it, Leah Clearwater, I'm a nurse; don't you think I know all about alcoholism and liver failure? Jake, please explain this to your friend here."

"Um-"

The door opens again, and Leah stops trying to remove her ears from her head. A tall blonde man walks through, holding a clipboard. His blue eyes are sapphires screwed into his eyeholes. Leah thinks he looks a bit too happy, for a doctor.

"Hello, Ms. Clearwater, I'm assuming this is your daughter?" The blue sparkles, and the doctor turns to Leah with a polite smile, "I'm Dr. Cullen, my godson sent me here."

"Your godson..." Leah frowns, "Oh! Jasper the friendly ghost! That guy."

Jacob coughs, "its Casper..." Jacob turns to Sue, "Hey, I thought she wasn't intoxicated anymore."

"Shut up," Leah hits him with the hospital bed pillow. "Jasper's a real person." Leah pauses, considering, "Maybe. I could've just been hallucinating."

Carlisle watches them with a smile, chuckling good-naturedly, "I assure you, my godson is real…although he does seem to have the gift of appearing and disappearing at will."

Leah shrugs, unconcerned. They guy was cool and all but she doesn't exactly know why he's so wrapped up in her well-being. He didn't have to send the chief of medicine to check on her.

Unless...

Leah turns to look at her mother, the glorified nurse manager of the hospital's hospice unity. Unless…her mother sent for him so that he could convince Leah to go to those shitty AA meetings.

The doctor smiles again, although this time a little awkwardly under Sue's pressing stare and Leah's quickly forming glare. "Jasper would be happy to be your mentor."

There's a beat of silence.

"Mentor?"

"Yes, Leah, you see when you have meetings you are assigned a men-"

"I know what a fucking mentor is!" Leah bites out, "Jesus Christ, I _don't_ have a problem."

If possible, Carlisle looks even more uncomfortable. "I will tell Jasper to meet you for breakfast tomorrow morning, if that's alright?" He looks at Sue instead of Leah but looks even guiltier after doing so. He turns back to Leah, "That is...if you agree to see him."

"She does," Sue answers for her. The nurse turns to look Leah in the eye, "You will."

Leah huffs against her bed, wanting to scream or cry or drink or do all of the above. She sends Jake a tormented look and sighs. "Fine, but he's paying."

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	3. Chapter 3

She sees him before she sees anything else. He's sitting in a booth by himself, staring out of the window and looking vaguely pissed off. He's wearing a red plaid shirt but manages to make it look designer, Leah can't deny that it could be, with him being related to Carlisle Cullen.

Leah looks down at her own faded red plaid and frowns. _Great, we match._

Leah slides into her seat, her long braid trailing behind her, and squares her shoulders. "Casper."

He doesn't even blink, "It's Jasper." He smoothly slides his book shut and folds his hands, "And I think you knew that."

Leah just rolls her eyes, "Maybe I did."

They are silent for a few moments after that. Leah just stares boredly at his forehead, wondering if he is going to start talking about the healing process for addicts or whatever mentors even talk about.

After a few more minutes of silence, she decides that she has something she needs to say. She had considered waiting for him to start off the conversation, but at this point she just wants to make something clear.

"Listen," She begins, "I honesty shouldn't be here right now. I don't have a problem."

The blonde just taps his fingers on his book, starring at her with honey colored eyes. Finally, he tilts his head, appraising her. "Funny, I never said you did."

Again, Leah rolls her eyes. What's with this guy? She raises the menu to get away from his stare and looks at the nice selection of pancake combos. "You're right, you didn't. But I'm here so everyone else must think I do." She winces, and is suddenly glad that the menu is hiding her face. She sounds like petulant child at this point.

"And why's that?"

This time, Leah lowers the menu and narrows her eyes. Now he's just being annoying. Jasper must realize it too because he raises his book and shrugs, "I'm a psych major, I have to ask."

Before Leah can reply, a waitress comes to the table with a cup of coffee and a flirty smile. Leah has to roll her eyes; she's seen this routine a thousand times but she watches with mild interest as Jasper skillfully and politely avoids her advances. The waitress is persistent though, and she winks when she leaves.

The coffee cup placed haphazardly in front of Leah steams and she pours herself a full cup while getting a good laugh at the uncomfortable look on her new mentor's face.

"Oh, come on, you've got to be used to that."

Jasper frowns, "To what?"

Leah doesn't think she can roll her eyes enough today. She gestures to the pretty brunette waitress. "The waitress. She totally wanted your number or something."

"Oh," Jasper shrugs, "I'm just not interested."

"Ah," Leah leans back in the booth, "You're gay?"

"No."

"Have a girlfriend?"

"No." There's a guarded look in his eyes when he says that though, so Leah figures that it's a touchy subject. She doesn't press on any longer and resumes menu reading.

After she finishes deciding what she wants, she puts down the menu and looks at him again. "I have a question."

He raises his eyebrows, "Yes?"

"Since you're a mentor, you've been through this whole addiction thing before, right?" When he nods, she continues, "So how long have you been sober?"

"I guess I'm obligated to answer that."

Leah crosses her arms, "Um, yeah. You kinda are."

"'Bout two and a half years."

She raises her eyebrows, "That's not long for a mentor." Not long at all. How'd he even get this job?

"You're correct." Jasper says, "But Forks is a little short on mentors and just about everything else."

A couple minutes later, the waitress comes back and Leah orders a stack of pancakes and a side of hash browns and eggs. Jasper just orders an omelet and smiles politely when the waitress asks if he would like _anything_ else. Leah tries not to laugh.

When the waitress walks away, Leah asks the only other question that's been on her mind all day. "So if you're sworn against alcohol or whatever, why were you in a pub saving my ass?"

Jasper's eyes meet hers in surprise as if he forgot that part ever happened. "That's a good question."

"Mhm," Leah hums, waiting for his answer. She wouldn't of been as suspicious if he wasn't looking like he'd just run over a puppy.

"I'll just be honest with you, Leah." His southern accent comes out as he says her name and she can feel the corner of her lips tilt upwards. "I wasn't kidding when I said Forks has a lack of services. I'm not really the right mentor for you."

Leah catches on before he can explain the rest. She leans back again, smiling dryly. "Oh I get it. They just figured that any and all addictions are the same and threw you with me."

"Something like that," Jasper agrees. His fingers idly moves his straw in circles in his glass of orange juice. "I'll be honest with you, my addiction wasn't to alcohol, but drugs. I had been addicted to prescription drugs and had occasionally entertained cocaine." He explains to her, his voice light and neutral as if he were discussing the weather and not a multi-year struggle. "I was in the pub that night with my sister and a few friends, but I don't drink too much, and was actually dubbed the designated driver. Then I found you."

They pause again for their food to be delivered. This time, the waitress gets the hint and keeps it moving.

Leah cracks a smile at that. "Okay, got it. You're not even the right type of mentor for me," She summarizes, suddenly amused by this turn of events. "Next question, _why_ are you even mentoring? You're what—? 21?"

"22." Jasper corrects lightly. "And…it's a long story. I'll just say, that my godparent's suggested I do it."

"I get it," Leah says again, and for some reason, she is getting a lot of things about him. "You must feel obligated to do it, too. They're probably paying your college tuition. The Cullens are practically made of money."

"Exactly," Jasper says. "I'd feel bad if I said no, and they've already done a lot of me." He trails off, and Leah figures that, again, that is not a conversation he wants to delve into.

So she lets it drop. They eat in silence until they are both completely finished, and Leah decides that she doesn't mind the guy too much. He's nice and kind of quiet, but is real with her and her problems. She can live with him as her mentor, even if their situations are completely different. She is startled out of her thoughts when Jasper begins to speak.

"Honestly," His voice is soft and Leah leans forward to hear what he has to say. "Honestly, Leah, I don't know how much I can help you. I still have shit I'm dealing with right now."

"So why did they sign you up for this?"

"They figured that being responsible for someone else would open my eyes. But that just makes everything harder," He breaks off suddenly, and looks out the window. After a few moments, he meets Leah's eyes again, "It doesn't matter. What's happening with me shouldn't—and won't— effect you. I'm here to help."

Leah leans back, her smile is large and wild, and her eyes are laughing. She suddenly gets it, and it's hilarious to her. "They just put two very fucked up people together, didn't they?"

Jasper looks up at her, shaking his head a bit, laughing at the reality of the situation. He smiles at her, and his teeth are straight and white. "I guess they did, didn't they?"

-:- -:- -:-

He prides himself on being almost completely honest with Leah. Everything he'd said had been truthful except…

He hasn't exactly been sober for two years.

He figures that she knows that, though. Leah appears to be intelligent and observant, she'd picked up every hint he'd dropped without even batting an eye. She knows he doesn't particularly want to be a mentor, she knows that alcohol was not his problem, and she knows that whatever _was_ his problem still _is._

And she'd just thought it was so funny. Jasper guesses that the situation is kind of comical, but in reality, it's pretty sad.

"Jazz? Is that you?" He hears Esme call as he swings open the door. He doesn't respond as he navigates through the house, giving a brief wave to Edward and his girlfriend in the living room. "How was the meeting?" Esme continues. The woman has a gift for knowing when people are listening, even if they don't respond. "Was she nice?"

Jasper breezes into the kitchen. It is Esme's pride and joy, all granite and steel. He leans over the counter and watches her busy herself with the pots and pan that litter the stove. "It was okay," He mutters. "Nothing I can't handle."

"Glad to hear," Esme smiles, she brushes past and kisses her godson on the cheek. "Do you want a snack? I just made this great spinach dip…"

No matter how old they get, Esme will continue to baby them. Edward, Rosalie, and Jasper all live with Carlisle and Esme, but none of them are their biological children. Edward had been there since the beginning, having been adopted by the Cullens at the tender age of two. The Hale twins had followed several years after due to family circumstances. Esme had been their mom's bestest friend, and their godmother, and she gladly took them in when they were thirteen.

Esme had never had any children of her own simply because she is unable to. After her first miscarriage, years and years ago, the doctors had told her that she could never have children, and just trying, could harm her.

Jasper had always thought it was a shame; the best people were always dealt the worst cards. Esme seemed to be born to be a mother. She deserved to nurse her own flesh and blood; not somebody else's.

Not that he's complaining. Without Esme, where would he be? It's not something he particularly likes to think about, but it always helps him appreciate her more.

"No, I ate a big breakfast," Jasper replies. "Nothing too fancy. We went to the Fork's Dinner."

"Mm," Esme hums, "So tell me about her. What was her name again…?"

"Leah," He supplies.

"Leah, right." Esme says. "Do you think you can help her?"

Ah. That dreaded question. For a moment, her amused and wild smirk appears in his head, and her quote to go along with it. _They just put two very fucked up people together, didn't they? _And Jasper had wanted to disagree, wanted to say no so badly. But she was right.

Jasper is glad that Esme had turned around so that she couldn't see the frown on his face.

"Yeah," And it's not a lie; he may be able to help Leah, but he's not too sure about himself. "She's willing to put in effort."

He doesn't necessarily know if that is true or not, but it makes Esme feel better. In reality, he's sure that Leah is in denial, and is using those Freudian defense mechanisms to avoid all of her problems.

Esme places a plate of fruit in front of him despite the fact that he'd just said he was full. "Did you learn a lot about her?"

Jasper almost scoffs at how much he _didn't. _Leah was assertive and brash. She had turned the conversation on him before he could even begin to think that it was supposed to be about her. She'd done it so swiftly, that he hadn't thought twice about it until right now. In fact, she'd made it seem like he was completely obligated to answer everything she'd thrown at him, when the whole point of the breakfast was for him to get to know her.

When Jasper doesn't answer, Esme continues, "You know, I think this is good practice. It's like being a kind of counselor or psychologist, you know? It's like training for when you actually become one."

Jasper just eats the strawberries placed in front of him to keep from answering. If that's the case, he'd make a really shitty psychologist. He had managed to get nothing accomplished. The conversation is making him uncomfortable to he changes the subject, "Is Rose here?"

There is an awkward pause, and Esme quickly fills it by filling a pot up with warm water. Jasper knows that this spells bad news. He glances at the clock behind him, reading only 10 am. Rose rarely wakes up before 11 unless…

"Alice called," Esme says lowly. "Rose left earlier to meet her at her house so that she wouldn't have to come over here. I believe they went out on a shopping date— Jasper don't look like that." Then Esme is reaching for him, doing that overprotective mother thing that he guesses mother's are supposed to do. She pats his hands, "I know it's hard but—"

"Rose and Alice are still good friends. I get it." Jasper smiles at Esme, and she smiles back. "I'm not upset, Esme, I promise. I've gotten over her, a while ago, actually." He stands from the counter, "And it's not my place to stop Rose from being with one of her closest friends. She can only hang out around Bella so much before her head explodes."

Esme looks at him, unbelieving. "Shh! Don't be so loud! She's just in the next room, there!"

Jasper just laughs and leaves the kitchen. When he reaches the safety of his own room, his smile falls.

He sits on his bed and stares at the piles of books, waiting for him to read. He's going into his senior year of college at the local university. Usually, 22 year olds would've graduated by now, but he'd taken a year off college due to his circumstances. Because of those circumstances, for college he'd decided to stay close to home. His goal now is to get the hell out. Seattle for his master's sounds good enough for him.

He barely realizes he's doing it, but before he knows it, he's reaching under his bed for the box that had been his savior in his teenage years. Being an adult and doing it feels weird.

Little blue pills. Harmless, if prescribed to you, and taken in the right amount. Xanax. Anti-anxiety.

Except, this time, when he looks into the box, he thinks of the native girl. He doesn't exactly know her problem, but whatever it is he _does_ want to help. He'd told Esme he was going to, anyway.

He highly doubts that he can help her and destroy himself at the same time. The girl is too smart; she'd notice just liked she'd noticed everything else.

He shoves the box back under in favor of his iPad.

2048 is one of the best anxiety relieving games he has and he plays it until dinner time. His fingers move the little squares, concentrating, even though he's already beaten the game 46 times before.

**an. ayyeee. Thanks for reading haha.**

**Review *-***


	4. Chapter 4

**Apocalypse Now**

**3**

The AA meetings take place in the most decrepit part of Forks Hospital—which isn't really saying much, because the whole hospital is pretty much falling apart.

Leah turns up her nose as she nears the room. It's literally in the back corner of the hospital and is honestly downright creepy…it doesn't help that this is Forks and it's always fucking raining. Leah stares out the window for a few seconds, taking in the storm happening outside, before she enters the room.

The Clearwater is immediately disappointed when she notices a lack of snacks and other things that would bring about a general feeling of happiness. She huffs and looks around the room, surprised at the number of people that are actually around her age. They look back at her like they've never had a new girl before— and she guesses that they haven't…or at least don't get new people very often.

After a couple seconds of rocking on the balls of her feet and thinking about getting the fuck out of there, she spots Jasper sitting in one of the chairs and playing with his phone. Unfortunately, he looks up at her just as she's about to leave. He just stares at her as her feet gravitate towards the exit, not saying a word.

Leah sighs and turns back around. She finds herself seated next to this blonde catastrophe, wishing she were anywhere else. "Hello Casper."

"Leah," He is slumping in the chair and still manages to look like he's posing for a photo-shoot. How does he do that? He reaches into his backpack and pulls out a notebook and bag of m&amp;ms, "Want some?"

Leah looks at him, what? did he hear her stomach growl or something? She holds out her hands anyway, "Hell yeah."

"Here," He plants the bag in her palms and then opens his notebook. He begins to scribble something down in it, no longer paying attention.

.

Leah gets the vague feeling that he's ignoring her and had only given her the candy to placate her. Leah rips it open with her teeth and stares him down. "You're my mentor, so mentor me." She tries to get a look at what he's writing. "I don't even know what goes on in these meetings."

"They begin with a prayer and then the twelve traditions," Jasper tells her quietly, his eyes looking around the room lazily. "They the either have a speaker, have a discussion, or do a reading."

"Is this church? What the hell," Leah leans back in her chair, "First they don't even have _snacks__—_"

"I brought you m&amp;ms," Jasper mutters.

"Then they have the _nerve_ to have some type of weird book reading and tradition what-not, I think my mom made me join a freakin' _cult__—"_

"Yeah," Jasper agrees, "We sacrifice those who relapse on the third Friday of every month, and on special occasions, like a full moon, we eat a child and try to restart the prohibition movement."

There's a moment of silence and Leah looks at his face, clear of expression, and begins to snicker uncontrollably. "You do sarcasm so well. Oh my God."

"That wasn't sarcasm."

"You're really funny, Cas, hilarious."

His face twitches, "You can't make nickname based off something that's not even my name."

Leah just ignores him and jumps to another conversation, "Yeah, okay, but imagine suggesting Prohibition to a bunch of alcoholics….that would never work." She shakes her head "Your cult logic is flawed, sorry."

"Negative," Jasper crosses his arms and tips his chin back, "That just means the brainwashing worked. You know nothing about cult activity."

"Obviously. I haven't been brainwashed yet," Leah looks up to see a plump middle aged woman stepping up to the podium, "But it looks like I'm about to be."

"Hello, as most of you know, I'm Lorraine Thompson, and I'll be leading tonights meeting." She smiles widely, revealing a row of yellow teeth. Leah grimaces. "First I will read the Serenity Prayer…please bow your heads."

_What if I'm atheist? _Leah bows her head anyway, glancing at the others out of the corner of her eye.

"_God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…blah blah blah." _

Leah tunes her out and gets a good look at her fellow alcoholics. There are about ten of them in total. To her left sits some macho guy with a buzz cut and directly across from her is a red-headed woman with an eternal grimace etched across her face. Leah doesn't get to look too closely at anyone else because apparently the prayer is over.

"Now," Lorraine Thompson begins. Her voice high and bubbly. "I'd like to ask that any newcomers please stand and introduce themselves."

All eyes zero in on her and she sighs. She slowly raises from the chair and says, "Hey. I'm Leah." And sits right back down. As if these low-lives need to know anymore info about her other than the fact that she's even there in the first place.

"Nice of you to join us, Leah. We hope that these meeting will guild you down the right path." Lorraine smiles again, and Leah looks away. "Today will be a discussion day…and the topic is school. How has your addiction influenced your schooling? Any volunteers?"

Leah snorts. She doesn't let her little drinking escapades influence anything…especially her schooling. Getting a good degree is the only way she'll ever make it out of this dump anyway.

The guy with the buzz cut glares at her and makes his way to the podium.

"Oh excellent, Rob, is going to share his story…" Lorraine claps her hands then pats his beefy shoulders. "The stage is yours, dear…" She eventually flutters aside, her checks flushed pink.

_Oh gross_, Leah plants her head in her hands.

"Hello, I'm Robert, and I'm an alcoholic…."

Leah pokes Jasper in the arm, mouthing 'I'm in hell.' He doesn't seem to get it though, and is playing two-dots on his phone in the cover of his notebook.

"…it all started my junior year…beer pong was my life…I was so good at it…" Rob continues. Leah buries her head in her hands as the human meatball begins to talk about the glory of jello-shots and how he got kicked off the varsity football team for failing a breathalyzer test at Homecoming. Apparently, that ruined his chances of getting his football scholarship the next year, and basically, from what Leah gathers, his life sucks because he got addicted to jello-shots in high school.

Eventually, Leah just falls asleep in the most uncomfortable positions ever. Harry with all the piercings had droned on for like _ever_ about how drinking did not help him with his college philosophy class in anyway, and Tamara said she thought drinking would help her art. Instead, she ended up throwing up on all her watercolor pieces.

Leah almost suggested she try LSD or something, but Jasper sent her a look like he knew that she was going to say something inappropriate.

After those two, she just clocked out and slept the rest of the meeting. Jasper hadn't even cared…or maybe he hadn't noticed, too absorbed in whatever game he was playing on his phone.

.

.

"Leah, I'd like to personally welcome you to the group," Lorraine says, a smile ever present on her face. "It's not everyday we get a new member."

"I don't doubt it," Leah mutters, looking at the lady's pink and white flowery shirt and plain khaki's in blatant distaste. "Forks rarely has anything new and this guy," Leah jerks her thumb at Jasper, who's standing behind her, not really paying attention. "Isn't even the correct sponsor for me."

"Are you complaining?" Lorraine's blue eyes flicker to Jasper's blissfully unaware form. Her cheeks pinken and Leah feels her lips curl in disgust. Lorraine just laughs, "Oh dear, Forks is low on everything, but new members absolutely need a mentor. Besides…Jasper here looks quite capable…"

"Um," Leah shifts uncomfortably, "Okay lady, whatever."

Lorraine doesn't even bristle at Leah's rudeness. "How did you like your first meeting?"

"It was…insightful."

Lorraine nods, and smiles again, her thin wed-stained lips stretched over yellowing teeth. She is the epitome of what a midlife crisis would look like. "I hope you don't mind me asking hun…but have you been sober very long? Or have you been struggling pretty badly?"

"Oh," Leah cocks her head back and grins, "I've been sober for about six hours but when I get home I plan to—"

"Pray, and bake cookies," Jasper cuts in. "She'll bring them next meeting."

"Excuse me—" Leah cuts in, but Jasper lightly tugs her elbow and pulls her away.

Despite his rude cut in full of lies, Leah allows him to pull her away. At least he had managed to get her away from that creepy middle-aged disaster in kitten-toed heels. (ew.) "Sorry," Jasper releases her, "It's just, I know your story—"

Leah raises an eyebrow.

"I mean, I kind of know about the situation with your mom. I know for a fact that she and Lorraine work together. Lorraine just volunteers to do this, but she works in the Hospice unit with your mom. She's probably spying on you for Sue."

"Well that was very valiant of you," Leah drawls, "But I don't really give a flying fuck what my mom thinks. I came to this train wreck, didn't I?" She grins, "So she can't complain."

"Okay," Is all Jasper says. They walk to the hospital's entrance and Leah moves to go to her car when Jaspers taps her on the shoulder lightly. "I won't see you until next Friday, but if you need anything, just call."

Leah looks at the little sheet of paper between them. She takes it and slips it into her pocket, "Thanks." She smiles a little, "Means a lot."

Jasper just smiles like he _knows._ He jogs down the steps and to his shiny car, "And Leah?"

"What?"

"No drinking, okay?"

Leah doesn't respond. She slips into her car and shuts the door.

**AN. short chapter. Not particularly a fan f this one. Not my best.**

**I really need to start getting a plot chart for this going. It's all jumbled in my head.**

**review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Apocalypse Now**

Jasper wakes to the high pitched ringing of his cell phone. For the first minute or two, he tries to ignore it. He pulls his pillow over his head and tries to suffocate himself to the point of unconsciousness.

When it doesn't work, he reaches an arm out and idly searches for it atop his bedside table. He only succeeds in knocking a glass of water all over his bed.

If anything, that only makes him roll over further, away from the mess. A few seconds later, the ringing stop and he can sleep again.

Just as his breathing evens out, it rings again. Jasper finally gets up, picks up the fallen glass, and answers the phone, groggily getting out an, "'Mornin'?" In the heaviest southern accent he thinks he's ever managed.

"_I don't think it's quite morning," _The voice on the other end of the line says in a considerably loud tone with barely distinguishable words, _"I don't think."_

Well, that wake him up. Jasper frowns and looks at his phone, Leah's name reading across the top and the time 2:30 am. "Technically morning," Is the only thing he can think to say.

Leah just snorts on the other end and they are silent.

Jasper sits back against the bed, the wet sheets sticking to his bare legs, "Did you need anything?"

"_Oh,__"_ Leah says, _"__Ummm__…__.I__'__m drunk.__"_

Jasper is at a loss of words, to be honest. He leans back and tries to think of a response to that but Leah keeps talking, her words alternating between clear and recognizable and slurringly unorganized.

"_Yup.__" _She says, "_'__think I am, for sure.__"_ She pauses to consider, _"__Is this like breaking a contract? Are the AA meetings over?__"_

Jasper struggles to find the words, at 2:30 in the morning all he can come up with is, "I…I think you'll have to be sacrificed."

She doesn't get it. He should've expected as much. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts, "—Look, where are you? Are you at home?"

"_Nooo,__"_ Leah answers.

"Where are you?"

"_In my car."_

Jasper could scream. He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly stressed. "You're _driving?_" What? She had clearly stated she was drunk, but she's still driving? Jasper leaps up and puts on a pair of pants that were laying on the floor. He then finds a button up shirt that he doesn't feel like buttoning and grabs his keys.

"_No. I__'__m not fucking stupid,__"_ Leah slurs, "_Just drunk.__"_

"I didn't know those were mutually exclusive."

"_Sass master Jass.__" _Like that was a new one. But she keeps going, _"__Jass the Sass man.__"_

Jasper jogs down the stairs, trying not to wake the whole house as he does. He opens the garage door and slips into his car, shivering from the chilly breeze.

"Where are you?"

"_Earth, probably.__" _Leah just has to make things difficult, drunk or not. _"__Somewhere.__"_

"Somewhere like what? A club or bar or—"

"_A parking lot." _She supplies.

"Which one?"

"_You know what I don't understand?" _She questions, _"We have the whole ocean in our backyards but here I am, stuck. I can't move like the ocean, I can't change."_

First Beach. That must be where she is. Jasper take the empty streets to Lapush, his foot pressed hard against the pedal even though it only takes ten minutes to get there.

"_And even if I tried to, like, you know, ride the waves, I'd drown." _She continues, _"The water would push me down so fast, but I think I'd be free, you know?"_

Jasper feels something familiar crawl into his chest. His fingers tighten on the steering wheel of the car. He wants to tell her that he knows but the words are lodged in his throat. He _knows_. He knows.

"_-And I don__'__t even know why I__'__m telling you this__—"_

Jasper pulls his car up to hers, cutting off the headlights. He closes his phone and walks out to her car, not paying attention to the ocean behind him. He let's himself in on the passenger side and sits there, moving an empty bottle out of the way.

After a few moments of thinking about what to do next, Jasper looks at her. Tiny drops of water cling to her lower eyelashes and shine against the streetlights like orbs of magic. Her hair is in a tight ponytail at the back of her head as if she'd just come from work.

"You know, I almost drowned once." Jasper says, but he doesn't really know why. He turns and doesn't look at her. "In the ocean, too."

He doesn't know how much exactly she's sobered, but she doesn't stop him from speaking. Jasper pretends he doesn't see her wiping tears away.

"The waves kept pushing me down and I couldn't get up," He says, "—The current, you know? Pushing me further but getting me nowhere. They say…they say that if you go down three times, you won't come up for the fourth." He looks out at the ocean, "Well, I came up after the third, went down again a fourth time—and I didn't go down again after that. Eventually, a life guard pulled me out but what I'm trying to say is—"

"This," Leah says idly, "What ever 'this' is, is temporary."

"Yes and—"

"Save it," Leah leans heavily forward, rubbing her forehead, "I've heard it all before."

-:- -:- -:-

"Jasper whatever-your-last-name-is, you absolutely _cannot_ drive me back home tonight," Leah says after Jasper asks her for her address. Her words are still slurring together and he knows that if she tries to walk she'll end up on the ground. Leah is unsurprisingly good at making herself seem sober when she's really a mess inside.

"And whys that?" Frankly, Jasper doesn't care, he just wants to get back in his bed.

"Because," She makes a crude gesture with her hands. Her two fingers take the form of a gun and her thumb a trigger. "Pow," Her head falls back, inky black hair falling out of it's ponytail against the back seat. A giggle peals past her lips, "She'll kill me, probably."

Jasper doesn't have to ask who, "Fine," He turns out of Lapush and goes in the direction of his own home, "_You_ just don't kill me when you wake up in a strange place the next morning."

"Sounds like a party," Drunken Leah wonders aloud.

Jasper pulls into the garage and wonders idly if she'll even remember anything that's transpired.

-:- -:- -:-

Jasper wakes five hours later to meet Esme in the kitchen before she can manage to find Leah half-dead in the guest room. Esme is already preparing a large breakfast, as she usually does on Sunday mornings.

"You're up early," His adopted mother chirps, pecking him on the cheek. "And you look like you need coffee."

"Please." Jasper lean over the counter, watching her stir pancake mix in a bowl. Eventually, he gets up and decides to make his own coffee, along with Leah's. He knows she'll probably want some when she wakes, that, and some pain killers. "I came down to warn you."

"Warn me?" Esme humors him.

"There's a drunk girl upstairs in the guest room." Jasper deadpans.

Esme stops mixing, "Excuse me?" She lifts and eyebrow and quickly recovers, "Well, I guess that happens every now and then…you are a grown man—"

Jasper blinks, confused for a second, and then he gets it. "Oh. Oh no, Esme, it's not like that. She's—her name is Leah," As if that clears it up.

"That's a pretty name," is all Esme says, distractedly. She turns back to the mixing bowl. "Well, Carlisle had to go in early today because of some emergency, so they'll be more than enough food for her."

Jasper still doesn't think Esme understands, "Leah? You know? The girl I'm mentoring."

"Oh!" Esme exclaims. She turns to face him, her face taking on a saddened expression, "She must be having a hard time then."

Jasper sort of shrugs. He doesn't know if this can be called 'hard times' or 'normal times' for Leah, and if they are 'normal' he really doesn't want to find out what hard would be like. He lifts the bottle of pills, coffee, and water bottle, "I gotta go wake her up."

Esme just smiles at him, her brown eyes full of warmth. She doesn't have to say anything and Jasper knows what the look means.

"I'm glad you're helping that girl, Jazz."

**AN. Short chapter 'cause I'm dangerously lazy and needed to update. **


	6. Chapter 6

_Apocalypse Now_

_6_

This feeling is more familiar than it should be. Leah hates herself, a little.

She rolls over, burying her head into the mattress. It smells strange…foreign, like handpicked flowers and fresh air, nothing like her dusty sheets at home.

Leah's head is trying to self-destruct and she tells herself that she needs to _stop_, she will stop, if only to never get a hangover again.

_What great lies_, she thinks, not a second later. The smell of alcohol is always lurking in the back of her head, the taste, always on the tip of her tongue.

She tries to remember last night, or at least remember how she got herself home. She pulls up one giant blank. Her mind is fuzzy with shapes and lights and nothing makes sense. Her fingers grab her hair in frustration. Why does she always end up like this? Is being drunk really that great? Is it worth it? Is it worth destroying her life over? Her body?

Suddenly, light is flooding onto the bed and her head erupts in pain. It feels like someone is embedding their fists into her skull and refusing to stop. She dives under the covers, wondering who the hell thought it would be a good idea to open the blinds. The covers are a thick barricade of darkness against offending sunshine. Why can't she be a hermit in peace?

Then, she hears footsteps. They near her and she hears a chair sliding across the floor. The person sits down.

"I know you're awake."

Leah frowns and tosses the blanket away, her eyes narrowing on the blonde man in front of her, "Jasper?"

"Hello." He supplies. He's wearing sweatpants and a wife-beater and his hair is in the smallest ponytail she's ever seen. (He still looks good, why can't he ever look like a bum for god's sake?!) He doesn't look down at her judgmentally or even rudely, and that startles her.

"What are you doing here?" Leah chokes out. She grabs the front of her shirt confusedly, as if concerned she'd slept with him. _Well, that would be one dramatic story,_ Leah things dryly. '_Local addict gets drunk and sleeps with mentor.'_

Kinda funny too, if you think about it.

Jasper just watches her, his hands folded. "This is my house."

"Hm?" Leah sits up finally, her hair falling around her shoulders and Jasper is left to wonder how anybody could possibly have so much. She quickly looks around the room shrugging, "Oh."

Jasper raises his eyebrows, "Oh?" That's it? She's not concerned?

Leah shrugs and looks at him again. Her eyes zero in on the box of pills in his hands and the water bottle beside him, "That for me?"

Jaspers gives them to her without a word. Leah takes them, for the first time, feeling uncomfortable. Jasper's scrutiny is disconcerting. He has these piercing brown eyes that basically see through her and calculate her every action. She wonders if that's a trait all psychologists have. She knows she's being scrutinized, but she still feels that he is not judging her through his observations. It's a weird feeling, and really, no one has ever looked at her like that. It's been so long since anyone's gaze towards her has been judgment free.

After an extremely long and uncomfortable moment of silence, Jasper leans back and says, "Let's talk about last night."

Leah shrugs awkwardly, her eyes bouncing away from his honey colored ones, "What's there to talk about? I don't remember it."

She feels her shoulders grow heavy. She doesn't know what that's about. This isn't anything new.

Jasper sighs through his nose and Leah makes a face while he's not looking. What's his problem? What did he expect?

"Look Leah," Jasper starts again. His hands have this nervous tick, Leah notices. His thumb digs into his skin and fingers curl inwardly into fists. "I'm just going to be real with you. Do you want help?"

The air around them stills. Leah stiffens, then laughs awkwardly, "Wow, that was pretty straightforward." She says, and that's the only thing that she can. Her voice is wavering with the beginnings of lies, it leaves an acidic taste on her tongue. What a ridiculous question. What terrifying question. She bites her lip.

Jasper doesn't say anything, he just watches.

Leah grows even more uncomfortable, looking everywhere but him. Her eyes suddenly feel heavy, weighed down with water as the moisture builds. What gives him the right to ask such a question? Why does he care?

"Do you want help, Leah?"

And she finds herself shaking her head, wiping nonexistent tears with the back of her hand. What gives him the right? What makes him think he can help her?

"No."

-:- -:- -:-

Hours have passed and Jasper sits, starring at a plate of green things and chicken. Leah had left hours ago, calling one of her friends to pick her up instead of asking him for a ride. It had been too awkward to.

Esme, Carlisle, Edward and Rose chatter around him about their day over dinner, sending him a few concerned glances.

But Jasper's not hungry, he hasn't been hungry all day.

_No?_ Jasper frowns as he mechanically picks up a piece of baked poultry, _No? How could she just say no?_

Surely, she's lying. No? Who just gives up like that? Not her. Not Leah Clearwater, he's sure of it.

No? What the hell? He had been absolutely 100% sure that she'd at least say _maybe._

"Jasper, are you alright?" Esme asks, from across the table. Her blue eyes are wide and concerned and Jasper shakes his head to clear his thoughts.

"You been starring at that piece of chicken for three minutes," Rosalie humors him. His twin's eyes shine with concern too, "Not hungry?"

"I'm…thinking about something," He kind of mumbles. After a few seconds of deliberating, he stands from his seat, "I have to go do something, I'll be back."

With that, he leaves the house.

Jasper gets in his car and drives to Lapush for the second time.

-:- -:- -:-

Jasper finds himself standing in front of the Clearwater residence with his hands in his pockets. He rocks on the back of his heals, wondering if he should really go through with this, if he should really bother her any more.

But then he sees Alice in his mind. He sees Alice and he sees Peter and he even sees Charlotte, and they're all crumbling in his mind's eyes. For a moment, Alice smiles, her mouth stretched tight over her teeth, her skin pale and glistening with sweat. She throws her head back and laughs. She holds one nostril and bends over the table, towards the pristine white powder, she—

"Can I help you?"

Jasper is shaken violently out of his own head. How had he gotten lost like that? He blinks several times, almost forgetting the teenage boy standing in front of him. "Um—"

"Hey, you okay man?" The boy questions. He has an innocent face, but his eyes tell a different story. He opens the door wider, "Uh, do you need to use the phone or something?"

Jasper blinks again, trying to clear his thoughts. "My apologies, I'm Jasper."

The boy shrugs and shakes Jasper's hand, "Seth."

Jasper shifts uncomfortably. "I'm, um, Leah's mentor. I was wondering if she was here?"

"Oh," Seth nods, his eyes no longer as guarded. "No, she's not, sorry."

"Oh," Jasper wavers uncertainly. He's about to give up again when he sees the look on Seth's face. He looks completely destroyed over his sister. Jasper sighs, "Do you know where I might be able to find her?"

"Oh, yeah. She's probably at the cliffs."

"The cliffs?" Jasper frowns.

Seth nods and points towards the ocean, "Just follow the path into the woods. There are a bunch of cliffs over there so you'll have to find which one."

"Thanks, man."

.

Jasper follows the path through the trees. The summer heat leaves a light layer of preparation on his arms, but the late evening breeze from the ocean cools him off and unsticks his cotton shirt. His legs work uphill, and he finds it peaceful up here. He can understand why Leah would want to come here to be alone with her thoughts. The trees are tall and embracing. He feels lost as he traveled further, but in a good way. Lost to the world, maybe. Protected. Safe.

He can smell the ocean and figures that he is getting closer to the cliffs. He steps away from the trees and the entire world is at his feet. The ocean's expanse is spread under him. He finally understands what Leah was drunkenly saying last night, because here is the entire world under him.

He sees a black flicker at the corner of his eye. Jasper turns and spots her. Her hair an inky stain against the blue of the ocean and the red of the sky. She sits with her legs crossed, she is breathing deeply.

Jasper doesn't know where to start. He finds himself struggling with words. "Leah," is all the can managed, if only to alert her of his presence.

"What are you doing here?" She doesn't turn around. He watches her fingers dig into the dirt.

"I didn't want to leave things like that." He says carefully. "I guess I wasn't expecting you to answer like that."

Leah just snorts in response, still not turning around. "Why do you care?"

Jasper's mind can't quite formulate a response without spilling his guts. Alice still haunts him. "I can't leave it like that," He repeats, "I'm not going to stand by and let you destroy yourself."

"You're talking in circles," She finally turns to look at him. Her eyes are dark, even against the setting sun in the horizon.

"I know—sorry." He immediately apologizes. "I just—" He is normally very good with words. Now he just can't come up with he right ones. "I've had friends in your situation, and I couldn't help them. I just want—"

"You want me to be your second chance? Your redemption?"

"No," Jaspers stands still, a little confused. Leah is good at twisting words and making them negative. "It's just that—I know what you're going through. No one should have to go through that alone." He manages. There. That sounds better, at least he thinks it does.

Leah doesn't respond. She starts muttering under her breath and says something along the lines of "give me a fucking break."

Then she does something Jasper doesn't expect; she dives off the cliff.

Jasper blinks, manages to belch out the word 'shit!' and kinda of stumbles over after her.

This isn't how he expected this meeting to go.

He free falls for a good three seconds before remembering that he's going to hit the water eventually, and he should probably prepare himself. He's dived off cliffs plenty of times; but those times were during vacations, on tropical islands, where the water was warm and inviting. The Pacific Ocean is not kind to him, even in the summer. And the chill of the water shakes his bones.

He comes up for air with burning lungs.

An inky spot of black appears in his line of sight, and he ignores the cold and swims towards Leah. Again, she is not looking at him, she is facing the sunset, her eyes on the orange sky and moving waves.

"What the hell are you doing?" Leah questions suddenly, her eyes sharp on his frame.

Jasper looks around, sure that his face is one giant question mark. He's not sure what he's doing, he's not even sure how he got here. "Uh..I was concerned. I couldn't let you jump alone?" Nothing he says sounds like him. He's sure the cold of the water has put him into shock.

Her eyebrows raise, "Is that in the rulebook of southern hospitality?" The sky casts orange and pink light across her face. "Are you going to call me 'honey' and lasso me to shore?"

Jasper just blinks. He's sure he looks like a drowned rat and he can't feel his toes. He's come to terms with the fact that he's never going to be in control of this situation. So he shrugs, "Darlin' I'll do whatever you want as long as we can get out of this freezing water."

Leah actually manages to smile, the tips of her hair licking her cheeks. Her eyelashes drip with water and cast shadows across her face. Something warm happens in Jasper's chest. "You said 'darlin'! Can you be even more southern?"

"Probably…"

Leah begins to swim towards shore, "You know, it shows real commitment; you diving in after me. Were you just trying to prove a point?"

"Were you just testing me to see what I would do?" Jasper asks, too cold to be pissed about it. "I didn't know what you were doing so my first reaction was to go after you."

"Very valiant," Leah mutters sarcastically. She climbs out the water and her clothes stick to her like a second skin. It doesn't help that she's wearing a white t-shirt. Jasper politely looks away. "Are you always like this? You're going to get yourself killed."

He doesn't answer. "My phone's ruined," He sighs, having forgotten that it was in one of the pockets of his shorts. He pulls out the water damaged iPhone in despair. Now he'll have to start his games all over again.

"No one told you to dive in after me," Leah repeats. Her hair sticks to her face and curls into clumps at the pack of her head. She sweeps it up into a ponytail "Genius."

Jasper just stares at his phone, his mouth dipping into a frown. Leah trudges forward ahead of him, kicking up sand and digging her heels into the ground as the sun dips below the ocean. The world around them is now deep blue, their skin glistens against the fading sunlight.

He follows, wondering if the Quileute girl is even cold. She must have warm blood, tough blood, blood of the strongest warriors. She's demonstrated her strength to him just by just getting through her days.

He wishes he was as strong as her.

They travel across the sand and rocks for a solid five minutes in silence until Leah turns around and glares at him, "Why are you following me, Hale?"

Jasper puts his hands in his pockets, tipping his head back, "I parked at your house."

"Hm," She kind of responds and turns around, her wet ponytail almost slapping him in the jaw. They cross into a residential area.

When they reach her porch Leah hurries up the stairs and into the house. Jasper watches, his lips pressed into a thin line. His clothes are still sticking to his body, and he's shivering. "You know Leah, I hope you reconsider your answer."

Leah's lips twitch. She glances at the driveway, her eyes on a small red car that doesn't belong to Jasper. Then she looks at him, her eyes narrowing and then returning to their normal inquisitive stare.

Leah shivers but walks towards him, still soaking wet, barely hanging on, she says, "Wanna get some coffee?"

**AN. sorry for a super super late update. college is hard sometimes.**


	7. Chapter 7

_Apocalypse Now_

_7_

"Here," Jasper outstretches his arm, a hoodie in hand, "Take this."

Leah looks at him and rolls her eyes. She shakes her head, "I'm not taking it."

Jasper blinks, surprised for like, the hundredth time. He let's his arm hang in the air between their soaking wet forms. "Why not?" He manages to ask patiently.

"You're shaking like a fucking leaf and you look like a drowned rat," Leah crosses her arms, "I'm not taking it."

He doesn't put his arm down, "I'm not either."

Leah wrinkles her nose, "You're going to catch hypothermia."

"You don't really _catch_ hypothermia, sweetheart." The words roll of his tongue sarcastically. You don't catch it…it just kind of happens to you. He really _is_ cold, but why won't she just take the damn sweatshirt like any other normal girl!

Leah Clearwater is _not_ normal.

Her eyebrow raises, "Jas has claws. I'm still not taking it."

"Jesus Christ Leah, take the hoodie."

"You're going to die."

"I am not leaving until you put this on." Jasper says, annoyed now.

Leah's eyes are on the porch and then the offending red car. She snatches the sweatshirt, "Fine. You and your fucking southern manners."

And then she does something he doesn't expect (again). She strips off her t-shirt, revealing an equally wet black bra. Jasper's eyes widen and he quickly turns away as she peels the wet shirt from her body.

"You can look now," She just sounds amused. The Hale turns around to see Leah dry and smirking in his maroon university hoodie. It's large and it falls over her short-shorts. "It wouldn't make sense to put a dry hoodie over a wet shirt."

"Right…." He hesitantly agrees, sure that his ears are burned bright pink. "Let's go." He's just going to pretend that Leah Clearwater didn't just strip in front of her house without batting an eyelash. She just smiles cheekily and tightens her ponytail, knowing that her actions are getting under his skin.

God, she's a handful…and also kind of scary.

They drive to a small diner just outside of Forks. Leah orders a tall cappuccino with a double shot of espresso.

Jasper seats himself across from her after he grabs his own drink, squaring his shoulders and looking her in the eye. "So who's car was that?"

Leah looks surprised that he even noticed. She shrugs her shoulders, her eyes looking past him. "My cousin, Emily's."

"Do you want anything to eat?" Jasper questions, letting the subject drop for a moment. "You must be hungry."

Leah nods slowly, looking annoyed that he's right. "An order of fries."

Jasper orders before turning back to Leah. He looks her in the eye. "Who's Emily?"

Leah blinks, annoyed, "My cousin."

Jasper figures that he should've known that that would be her answer, he shifts in his seat, trying to ignore the fact that his wet pants are sticking to the red plastic of the booths. "Why are you avoiding your cousin?"

"Because I hate her," Leah states simply, she doesn't look him in the eye though. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Like what?" Jasper humors her while taking a mental note to remember this Emily person.

Leah huffs, annoyance flashing across her face. "I don't know. Anything."

"Like…?" Jasper sits back, happy to let her drive the conversation. Leah doesn't answer, she just crosses her arms and buries her nose into _his_ hoodie. They sit like that for a while until a plate of fries is set in front of her.

Leah eats each one slowly, her eyes glaring holes into Jasper's forehead.

"No ketchup?" Jasper humors her, breaking the silence.

Leah wrinkles her nose, "Ketchup is disgusting."

They sit in silence again. Jasper is set on not starting the conversation. He just looks out the window. His eyes trace the outlines of trees in the distance and he watches puddles be formed out in the parking lot. Reflections of neon glint off the little circles of water.

Finally, Leah speaks, "So how did you come to live with the Cullens?"

It's not necessarily a subject that Jasper is comfortable talking about. He shrugs and steals on of her fries, "Esme was my mom's best friend…she's also our godmother. So when my mom died, we moved in with her and Carlisle."

"Who's we?" Leah questions, pulling the hoodie down from over her face.

"I have a twin sister named Rosalie."

Leah nods, "That's cool. Do you have a picture of her?"

Jasper hums out a 'yes' and pulls out his phone. When he goes to unlock it, he frowns He puts the ruined device on the table, giving Leah a half smile, "It…kind of got wet. Remember?"

Leah snorts as she reaches across the table and grabs the white iPhone, turning it in her hands. "Ha, that's what you get—Wait, is your name fucking_ engraved _in this?"

"Uh, yeah. Esme ordered it—"

"Rich people." Leah doesn't let him finish, she just tosses the phone back. "Anyway, I'm assuming Rosie looks like you, so I don't really need a picture."

"Rosalie," Jasper corrects her. He winces when he thinks about the possibility of Leah and Rose ever meeting. That probably wouldn't end well…two brash, loud, intense women in the same room…can't be good.

"What about your father?"

Jasper's smile disappears. He avoids her eyes, "What of yours?"

Leah leans back, crossing her arms again. "A little defensive, are we?"

"We've reached a stalemate, sugar." Jasper drawls.

"I think your accent comes out stronger when you're angry," Leah says, her lips curling. "I would find your pet names condescending if I didn't know you any better."

"Do you know me any better?" Jasper asks, and as an afterthought her says, "Do you not appriciate the pet names?"

Leah waves a fry and snorts, "That just proves you're too nice of a guy." She takes a bite. "It seems that we need to establish some guidelines. AnD actually, I dig the pet names."

Jasper blinks, wondering why they are even discussing pet names. "Guidelines? For what?" Now Jasper is just confused. He leans forward, his elbows on the table.

"Obviously we've got some pretty fucking heavy baggage. We don't need to be lugging that shit around whenever we have a conversation."

"Okay…" Jasper agrees slowly.

"And since you're probably the _worst _mentor they could possibly give me—no offense—"

"None taken, I think." Jasper frowns. At least he thinks he knows what she means.

"There are obviously some things we don't want to talk about. I propose that we just say 'red' whenever we've gone too far, you know?"

"Sure…" Jasper hesitantly agrees, not really seeing the point. "But, as your mentor there is some stuff we might have to discuss."

"I never said you could be my mentor again," Leah rolls her eyes at him. "Fuck that."

"Oh…" Jasper doesn't really know how to respond, something that seems to happen often around Leah Clearwater.

"We can just be friends." Leah tips her head back, enjoying the surprised look on his face. "You're in no position to mentor me, Hale, and you know it."

He doesn't entirely disagree. "Ok, deal." He reaches his hand out for her to shake. Leah grabs it, a smile stretching across her face.

"So," Leah pushes her hair back, "What happened to your mother?"

"That's Red, darlin'."

"Ok, you go." Leah says, and something warm flutters in her stomach when he calls her that.

"How old's your brother? Do you have any other siblings?"

"He's 15 and no. When did you even meet him?"

"When I knocked on your door asking for you earlier today. Does your cousin Emily live in Lapush?"

"Unfortunately. My mom took her in when she was 14. Do you like the Cullens?"

"Yeah, they basically saved Rose and I. I owe them everything." Jasper trails off. "Why did your mom take your cousin in?"

"Red. Don't the Cullens have another adopted kid there? Do they have any biological children?"

"Yeah, they adopted a kid named Edward from birth. And no, they don't have any biological children. Esme is unable to have any. Carlisle told me that she lost her first child and couldn't have anymore."

"Oh," Leah quiets, putting the coffee cup against her lips, "That must've really hurt her…" She trails off, her eyes flickering towards the window. A new kind of respect flashes in Leah's eyes.

Jasper regards her cautiously, "What was that just now?"

"Red." Leah responds, shaking her head. "Why'd you take a year off school?"

"That's Red and you know it," Jasper rolls his eyes. To get back at her he says, "Why do you hate your cousin?"

"Malicious." Leah rolls her eyes, "Fuckin' Red. What happened with your dad?"

"Red. Why'd your cousin move in with you?"

"Red. Why did you go pale and wince when I asked about your dad?"

Jasper's hands still around his coffee cup. His eyes widen, unused to anyone observing him at that level. He's not sure if he's okay with that. "…well that's definitely Red, sweetheart." His lips curves up when he eyes narrow. "Why did you sympathize with Esme so much you almost cried just now?"

"Red," Leah's glare becomes steel. "Why'd you have to call me that?"

"Why did you have to go there?" Jasper counters, his fingers tightening around the mug. "This was supposed to be a safe game, not fucking psychological warfare." His eyes narrow at Leah's smirk, "What's your problem?"

She confuses the hell out of him. One minute they're on good terms, the next she's baiting him into some insane argument, trying to break him down. He looks her over, from her tired eyes to her smirking lips.

"Oh, I get it." Jasper leans back against the booth, relishing in the heat coming from the vent above him. He lets his lips curl upward, "That's your game. You're trying to push me away. Why?"

Leah's smirk falls. Now she just looks tired, "Red."

"It's okay," Jasper drawls. He gives her a half smile, one she has never seen before. And suddenly he goes from southern gentleman, to dangerous and dark. "'Cause I'm not going anywhere, _darlin.__'_"

And now it's condescending.

But for some reason, it doesn't piss her off as much as it should. Because, no one has _ever_ called Leah Clearwater a pet name in that way and gotten away with it, and she's not going to give Jasper the chance to start.

She rolls her eyes, matching his half smile with her own smirk, "So this is who Jasper Hale really is. Not as nice as you pretend to be, huh?"

"Red," Jasper responds, his eyes glinting with something…maybe amusement. "It's been a while sense I've played a game like this. I'm not sure if I like it."

"No one ever likes games like these," The Native girl hums, "And no one ever wins them."

**A/N: this chapter did a complete 180 from what i thought it was gonna end up being but…ooookkkk**

**Jasper finally showing some of his true (past?) colors. Leah just does that to people.**

**review!**


	8. Chapter 8

Apocalypse Now

8

"_The Kooks?_" Leah questions as Jasper connects his iPod to his car radio. "I figured you'd be more of a Johnny Cash type of guy."

Jasper just snorts, "That's not nearly as country as I can get."

Leah hums along to the song playing, "Psh. He's the only country singer I even know."

"I can enlighten you," Jasper suggests, his lips pulling into a smirk. He pulls out of the diner's parking lot and continues down the road to Lapush. By now, his clothes are mostly dry from his dip in the ocean. He makes to grab his iPod but Leah takes it before he can wrap his fingers around it.

"Absolutely not." Leah says, she taps at the lock screen, trying to open it. "You're not gonna make my ears bleed—what's the password?"

Jasper shrugs, "Red."

Leah glares at his blonde head, tossing the iPod back into the cup holder.

"You're lucky it's _not_ country playing right now," He cocks his head to the side, "You don't like The Kooks?"

"No, I really like them…" Leah trails off as the song ends. The first few notes of the next song starts and Leah frowns, "Goddammit."

"Kenny Chesney," Jasper grins, "This is a classic."

"Please change the song. I hate this."

"_She thinks my tractoooor's sexxyyyyy." _Jasper sings, his southern accent making the whole thing even more horrible for Leah. "_It really turns her on—"_

"No no no, Hale, I will jump out of this fucking car."

Jasper gestures to the door, "By all means," His fingers drum against the steering wheel to the song. "I'm just trying to educate you in country music. When we had a ranch we would-"

"You had a farm?"

Jasper shrugs, "A ranch, and we—"

"With horses and stuff?"

He just nods slowly, "Yeah….and we would—"

"You're a walking stereotype, my God." Leah cackles, "Bet there were confederate flags everywhere too. Fuckin' racists," She jokes in a way that's not really joking.

"Well, you're not wrong…." Jasper hesitantly agrees, by now used to the brash way that Leah speaks. He still rushes to defend himself, "I don't agree with what that flag represents, but yeah, there were quite a few."

"Gross," Is all Leah says. "Also this song, gross." She turns to look out the window, watching Forks pass her by. "Anyway, you were saying about your ranch?"

"I forgot," Jasper says honestly, "_Someone _kept interrupting me." He tosses her the iPod. "The password is 7476, sweetheart."

Leah's lips twitch upward, "Thanks Casper," She opens his music library, scrolling through his list of artists, "You have a lot of classic rock here."

Jasper nods, "Yeah, when I was younger my mom would blast the stuff, me and Rose loved it. Rose is more hardcore than me, though."

"Black Sabbath…Santana…" Leah nods, mumbling to herself mostly. Then she grins, "Fuck yeah, Queen."

"You like them?"

"Who doesn't?" Leah clicks the name right away, and the first line of Bohemian Rhapsody plays, "_Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?" _Her eyes sparkle, and Jasper can't stop watching her. "My dad played this one day on a road trip. I was napping in the backseat, and when this came on I woke right up and asked him to replay it. We used to sing it together all the time, really loudly and off key…."

_Mama, life has just begun_

_but now I've gone and thrown it all away…_

Leah trails off, her fingers playing with the ends of her hoodie. "Seth and I used to sing that part to our mom. It was really bad, she'd laugh at us and pick us up and spin us around in circles."

_Mamaaaaaa ooh_

_didn't mean to make you cry._

"And then my dad would boom in, 'I see a little silhouette of man!,' you know? And we'd all go about yelling and stuff, it was wild. And when the guitar solo came in, he'd pick me up and use me as a guitar, no matter of old I was." Leah laughs, it's a sad sound though, "He'd always drop me half way through. And we'd finish the song with a bangg, something was almost always broken by the end of it. The last time…we'd somehow broken Emily's vase she'd made in ceramics," Jasper watches her lips tremble. He wants to look away but he can't. "She and mom were _pissed_. But my dad," Leah laughs, "My dad said the vase was butt-ugly anyway and we were doing the living room a favor, and Seth laughed so hard milk came out of his nose. Mom had to stop herself from laughing too, I think, because she walked away really quickly."

They are quiet after that. The song ends and Jasper listens to the silence and Leah's deep breaths. He guesses that she doesn't talk about her father often. "You must really miss him," He says.

"Can you…can you pull over a sec?" Leah turns her body so she can't see him. "Sorry, we're getting close to my house I can't go in all red faced like this, Seth'll freak."

Jasper pulls over silently. They have somehow ended up where they were last night, with the ocean spread out at their fingertips.

"Do you talk about him a lot?"

Leah shakes her head, her body till turned away from him. "No, tonight was the first time since...for years." She sighs, rubbing her eyes irritably. She's got to stop crying at some point. This can't be a daily fucking thing.

Jasper watches her shoulders shake, wondering how he can help. "My mom's favorite song, surprisingly, wasn't hard rock. It was Bob Marley." He begins, hints of a smile on his face. "My mother…this woman was like a walking ray of sunshine, Leah. This song was perfect for her."

Leah turns around, her eyes rimmed red. "What song?" She watches his smile widen and he closes his eyes.

"Three Little Birds." Jasper sways in his seat and Leah tries not to laugh at him. Then, he sings. "Don't worry…about a thing. Because every little thing…is gonna be alright, you know?"

"Yes, I know the song," Leah answers.

His smile widens, "My mom would wake us up singin' that song, she'd put us to bed singin' that song, she'd send us to school singin' that song. She was amazing, my mother. I've never met anyone as kind and caring as her, besides maybe Esme, and that's why they were best friends." Jasper says, still grinning.

Leah wipes her face again and opens his ipod, scrolling through the songs. She finds it and plays it. The car is filled with sweet reggae.

"Imagine this tiny blonde woman, swinging her six year old twins around in her arms, singing this song with the thickest Texan accent you've ever heard. That's my mother. I swear to God she'd play this song in the middle of a thunderstorm and make the sun come out."

_Rise up this mornin', _

_smile with the risin' sun, _

_three little birds, each by my doorstep_

_singin' sweet songs_

"And she'd point to Rose and I, and our cat, Yellow, and gives us each a kiss on the forehead. I think my favorite days were when we'd wake up to the smell of pancakes and her singing. When we came into the kitchen she'd smile so wide you'd think her face was splitting," Jasper laughs, "And she'd say 'two little birds each in my kitchen.' And Rose would yell 'And we're saying 'Don't worry!' and then I'd say, 'about a thing' and sometimes, on the good days, my dad would finish it. 'Because every little thing is gonna be alright.'"

The song fades into the background. Leah watches Jasper's smile fade. She's noticed that when he smiles, really smiles, he has a dimple in his left cheek. "You're probably just like her," Leah decides.

"Who? Rose?"

"No," Leah shakes her head, "Your mom. She sounds like a wonderful person."

"Mm," Jasper agrees, "She died when I was eight. I think I've forgotten a lot about her, and whenever I try to remember her voice I can't. I dream about her a lot, though. She's feels really warm, in the dreams, you know?"

Leah nods, "I wish I dreamed about my dad. He was my favorite person in the entire world."

"I can tell," Jasper says. They both look to the ocean, nostalgic smiles on their faces.

Leah breaks the silence after a while, her head tilted to the side, "You had a cat named Yellow?"

"Yeah," Jaspers replies. "It was…yellow."

Eventually, Jasper pulls out of the parking lot and begins the drive back to Leah's. They sit in a sort of content silence, no music this time.

When Jasper pulls up the driveway, the red car is still there. Leah does some sort of growl in the back of her throat and unbuckles her seatbelt.

Jasper looks from the car to her face, "You don't have to go in there, you know. Esme wouldn't mind if…"

"No, it's fine." Leah waves him off. Her smile says that she appreciates the offer. "I gotta face her every once and a while."

Even though Jasper doesn't understand why Leah hates Emily, he nods. "Well, be safe, little bird."

The words send warmth through the pit of her stomach. _Little_ _Bird_. She smiles at him as she enters her house.

.

.

"Look who's home," Seth grins as Leah passes behind the couch he's sitting on, playing video games. "I was getting worried."

"Pft," Leah ignores him, knocking his head. "I'm the older sibling, _I'm _the one who's supposed to be worrying."

"I'm the good kid, though." Seth argues. "whose hoodie is that, huh? A _boy's_?" Seth quirks an eyebrow.

"You're such a little fucking kid," Leah laughs, pushing his head. "Mind your business, dork."

"Let me smell you," Seth says, his hands gripping the maroon sweatshirt at the bottom.

"Why?" Leah pushes his head, but Seth just laughs.

"I wanna see if you smell like boy." Seth puts his nose against her stomach and then suddenly, she finds herself yanked over the couch and on the floor. "Ha! I finally did it!"

Leah has a history of doing that same move to Seth when she was younger. He'd never been able to do it back! "Fuck you, Seth." She stares up at him from the carpet, "Prepare to die."

Then she pounces, tickling his sides until he can't breathe. "Leah," He wails, tears escaping his eyes, "Uncle! Uncle! _Mercyyyy_!"

"Nah," Leah cackles. She cackles until Seth grabs her arm, and then she is the one being tickled.

"No fair!" Leah cries, "You had…. to become a teenager…. and get all… bulky." She says between giggles. "Lemme go you overgrown shit."

"Are you two five years old?" Sue enters the room, her lips quirked up. "Seth, get off your sister, and Leah, no cursing, Maya's here."

"Maya's here?" Leah springs up after Seth moves. "Where?"

"In the kitchen with Emily," Sue says. Her eyes follow Leah cautiously, "You're in a good mood…"

"She was with a boy," Seth supplies. Leah promptly smacks him on the side of the head.

"Leah," Sue admonishes. "What boy-?"

Leah leaves the room before she has to answer. She enters the kitchen, hoping that talking to her cousin won't be necessary. She only came here for the little gremlin.

"Leah!" Emily stands, and Leah sighs. "I haven't seen you in forever!"

"Yeah…" Leah agrees hesitantly, searching the room for the little girl.

"Aunty Lee!" Something warm attaches to her leg. Leah smiles tenderly, bending down to the girl's level. "Aunty Lee!"

"Hey kid," She hugs the little girl. "Miss me?"

"Yea. Look!" The girl gushes; she smiles, and reveals a missing tooth. "No teeth!"

"Wow look at that," Leah smiles, "How old are you now?"

Maya holds up four fingers.

"Wow, you're getting old on me. Look at how pretty you've gotten." She has two deep dimples, twinkling brown eyes, and brown skin to match. Her dark hair is long and braided down her back.

"Daddy says I look just like mommy, is it true?"

Leah can feel Emily hovering, probably waiting for a bitchy response. Instead Leah nods, "You look just like her, my dear. If not prettier."

"Prettier than mommy?" Maya shakes her head back and forth, pink coloring her cheeks. "Noooo."

Leah picks her up, looking to Emily to see if it's okay. At her nod, Leah brings her cousin's daughter into the living room, listening to toddler talk. Maya puts her palm against Leah's cheek, "Wanna hear a secret?"

"Mhm," Leah nods.

Maya leans in close, whispering and spitting a little, "I wanna look like you when I get older."

Leah bites her lip to stop her smile, "Don't tell your mommy you said that."

"That's why it's a secret, Aunty Lee," Maya slaps her forehead. Her little eyes rolling, "Duhhh."

"I knew that," Leah says.

Then, Maya is swept from Leah's hands and into her younger brother's, who is spinning her in wild circles across the room. Maya squeals with joy. After a while, Seth goes back to his game, passing the toddler back to his sister.

Leah sits on the couch with her and May asks, "Do you have a boyfriend, Aunty Lee?"

"No," She answers.

Maya gasps, covering her mouth with both hands. "You have to have one. Mommy says pretty girls have boyfriends."

"Now that's not true," Leah says gently, while internally cursing her cousin's faulty logic and passing it onto an innocent child. "You can be a strong and beautiful princess without having a prince."

"Like who?"

"Well…Mulan. Mulan saved China and _then_ got a boyfriend. First she had to get stuff done, understand?"

Maya nods excitedly, "So are you getting stuff done first?"

Leah considers it seriously for a moment. Yeah, she thinks she is. She's gotta figure out the mess she's made of herself first. "Yep."

Maya stretches in Leah's lap, her tiny arms wrapped around Leah's middle. "Love you, Aunty Lee…."

"Love you too, little bird." The words come out of her mouth with ease, and they shock her a little. Little Bird.

Of all the pet names Jasper threw around accidentally, that one stuck the most.

Or maybe it was the song that stuck.

Leah nods to herself, definitely the song.

**AN. Hey guys! I was actually going to update my other Leah fic…but then my hands did this thing where they started typing this one instead.**

**Hope you like this chapter as much as I do, review!**

**In case you don't know the songs here they are. Also, do yourself a favor and listen to them!**

_Westside by The Kooks (_although I didn't mention the song, I like this one the best)

_She thinks My Tractor's Sexy by Kenny Chesney _(I don't recommend but)

_Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen_

_Three Little Birds by Bob Marley_


End file.
